


Because You now Me Better (Than I Know Myself)

by trxtr



Series: Tk Strand Week 2020 [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt TK Strand, M/M, Panic Attacks, Tarlos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trxtr/pseuds/trxtr
Summary: When a car backfire sends Tk spiraling, Carlos is there for him.Written for Tk Strand Week 2020: “You’re cute when you pout.” + fluff (manly eh/c but there is FLUFF AT THE END I SWEAR)
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, TK Strand/Owen Strand
Series: Tk Strand Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997830
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117





	Because You now Me Better (Than I Know Myself)

**Author's Note:**

> mildly edited
> 
> Title from “Better” by Ben Platt

"You're so cute when you pout."

Normally Tk would have laughed at the warm tone seeping into his eardrums from his boyfriend's mouth, but right now he was rigid, hair standing up on the back of his neck. He swallowed hard, looking up at Carlos. His green eyes looked halfway between horrified and relieved, knowing that the other was at least, now in the same room as him.

Carlos was referencing a FaceTime call that the two had previously shared. It had started out as a good day, and Tk had the opportunity to speak to his boyfriend over the phone, but the whole time, Tk kept saying how he wished it was in person that he could see him. He _did,_ in fact, pout, quite a bit actually. His boyfriend had made a remark that forced his expression to intensify just a little. Carlos hadn't dropped it since. He insisted on texting Tk several mocking emojis, and paragraphs, assuring him that they would be together in person again in no time. 

And Tk didn't doubt that.

The boy had just made it home from a double, and he knew that Carlos would be home within the hour, so he had decided to see if he could make dinner. He was halfway through a beef dish (it was the only thing that he really knew how to make, but he didn't know how to pronounce the actual word for it — zürcher geschnetzeltes — so he just referred to it as pan fried steak), when he heard it. His hands were caked in flour and salt, half the meat already frying in the pan of butter and olive oil. He didn't really know what he was thinking, frying _anything,_ since he didn't have much kitchen experience, but the grease wasn't the thing that forced him to go rigid. No, it was just the neighbors, who desperately needed a new car, or a mechanic visit. He heard them start their vehicle, soon followed by the loud _pop_ of the vehicle backfiring.

Tk felt the bullet tear through his flesh. He saw the horrified look on his father's face, and heard the desperate cries of his team all in one second. It was like he was staring down the barrel again, only this time Colt was behind the gun with a malicious grin on his face, eyes narrowed in determination, seeming to scream at him: _You deserve this._

Tk dropped his hand to the side, grazing the stovetop and causing him to hiss in pain, reaching down to cradle the freshly burnt, crisp skin. He was quick, to yank the meat off the stove, hands shaking as he placed it on a bed of paper towels. He turned off the stove, shoving the oncoming panic down to the bottom of his chest until he at least could have the dinner halfway ready for Carlos to eat once he got home.

But as soon as he had an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel, Tk found himself collapsing on the couch, and letting his mind wander.

_You should have died._

_Theres a reason it was you._

_They only saved you because they had to._

Tk's eyes were glazed now, sickly tears beginning to slowly drift from their sources. He could see the gun in front of him. He could feel the pain of the bullet, the sensation of drowning in himself, he heard the horrified, gasping breaths that he tried his best to take. 

_No, no, no, no, shut up, shut up, he didn't mean it—_

Tk didn't even hear the door open.

The words fell on deaf ears when Carlos spoke. Tk was, in fact pouting, but it wasn't the type of pout that would earn a chuckle or a teasing kiss from the other. No, this pout was one of genuine upset; fear.

Carlos picked up on it almost immediately.

Within three seconds, Carlos was sprinting towards the couch, dropping to his knees in front of Tk. 

Tk felt hands on him, but he couldn't move. The Ice pack slid from under his arm, exposing the stovetop burn that Tk had managed to acquire. He was frozen, mind stuck in the same tape loop of a battering ram, and a horrified boy behind a door, and how much he fucking _deserved it._ His body was stuck in the moments after, practically completely limp, breathing labored, horrified tears in his eyes. Half of him was expecting the blood to come up from his throat, force him to choke. The other half was searching for Carlos in this sea of genuine horror and panic. His voice was distant, his touch even more so. logical Tk was nowhere to be found in this situation. It was fight or flight, and all Tk could do was freeze.

"Tk, mi amor," Carlos tried. 

Tk could barely hear him.

"Tk, querido, hey, breathe with me, alright?" Carlos placed a tender hand on Tk's rapidly rising and falling chest, hoping that the pressure there would at least show Tk that he wasn't in pain; that he was just... thinking too hard. "That's it, yeah, good job."

It took a moment, but after a few moments, Carlos was met with a green and red vision; irritated irises, and he smiled a little bit. "There he is."

Tk sucked in a breath, a gasp of sorts, and found himself collapsing into Carlos's grasp. "I—" he began, still fighting to speak in actual syllables that weren't jumbled. He found himself crying harder, fingers gripping the back of Carlos's stretchy AFD t-shirt. "I made... I was m-making, I was..."

"Shh." Carlos was adamant on that part, hushing him. He needed to make sure Tk was level headed before he tried to explain anything, otherwise he would spiral again, and they would have to live through another, this time very preventable, panic attack.

"Car backfired, kid—Colt—gun, I.. I thought..." He gasped.

Carlos backed up, making gentle eye contact with the other man. He found himself pulling the Ice pack back over the burn, and adjusting them to where Carlos was sitting on the couch, Tk's torso laid against his chest. He used his right hand to guide Tk's head to his shoulder, deciding not to say anything. Tk hadn't gotten this bad since the first month they'd been together, and nightmares ravaged the older's head. Carlos was quick to hold him; talk him through it. He found it to be a secret calling; a comfort counselor for his boyfriend. Most days he would think about it and laugh, especially when Tk would carry himself with a confidence that presented him as invincible. Now, though, he was holding the crying lump close, whispering different variations of, "It's okay. I've got you," into his boyfriend's ear.

And it worked, after a while.

Eventually, Tk's sobs devolved into quiet hiccups, and his tears dried into Carlos's shirt. At some point, Tk found himself wrapping his arms around the other, and at an even later moment, Tk finally found himself opening his mouth, and pushing intelligible syllables out.

"I love you."

"I know," Carlos replied, craning his neck to kiss the smaller man's temple. He took a deep breath, reaching his hand up to softly massage his scalp. "I know you do. I love you, too." Carlos took another breath. "You scared me, Tk.”

Avoiding the statement, Tk muttered a: "Did you get anything to eat?" Finally letting himself look up at the other man. His eyes searched for any hint of distaste in the other man's features, but his search was cut short by a soft kiss. He smiled at the other's lips against his, the last of his tears seeming to get lapped up by the gentle blush on his cheeks.

"No."

"Come on, baby, I made food," Tk pouted, only realizing his mistake when the other man looked at him with mischief in his eyes.

"You're cute when you pout."

_"Come on."_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated, y’all make my day! ❤️🥺


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